Sibling conflicts often intensify as parents age or after they pass. A probate attorney can help you assess whether court intervention is warranted.
There are few things more sacred — or more complicated — than the bond among siblings. Unfortunately, the strength of this bond can be put to the test when a parent becomes incapacitated or passes away, leaving siblings to navigate emotionally charged legal and financial decisions.
Perhaps your sibling, acting as executor or trustee, is withholding financial information or critical documents instead of communicating openly with beneficiaries.
Perhaps you and your sibling jointly inherited your parents’ home, but you cannot reach an agreement on whether to sell the property, keep it or buy each other out.
Perhaps a sibling manipulated a vulnerable, dying parent into signing a last-minute will or trust amendment that drastically reduced your inheritance.
Perhaps a sibling who is both a beneficiary and the executor or trustee is making decisions that benefit themselves at the expense of the other beneficiaries, creating a clear conflict of interest.
Whatever the situation, pursuing legal action against a sibling is likely the last thing you want to do. The good news is that there are ways to safeguard your rights, demand accountability and resolve disputes — often without taking your siblings to court.
Every family dynamic is unique, which makes it impossible to predict exactly how a sibling dispute will play out. Even so, understanding the red flags to watch for and the remedies available to you can go a long way toward reaching an efficient, cost-effective and mutually acceptable resolution.
If you are facing conflict with a sibling around a parent’s care, finances, estate or trust, it’s crucial to understand your rights and the tools the probate court offers to enforce them. With the right strategy, you can work toward an outcome that protects not only your parents and their assets, but your rights as well.
7 Legitimate Reasons for Taking Siblings to Court
Although many people naturally give their siblings or other family members the benefit of the doubt, some red flags should never be ignored. Left unaddressed, these warning signs can escalate conflicts and, in some cases, make legal remedies ineffective.
While there are countless reasons for taking siblings to court, this article focuses specifically on disputes that can arise from a parent’s incapacity or death — essentially, those conflicts that would fall under the jurisdiction of the probate court if litigated.
The list below is not exhaustive, but it highlights the most common reasons we see at our probate firm. Even if your specific situation isn’t described here, consulting a probate attorney is a wise step, as your sibling dispute may still fall within their expertise.
1. A Sibling Stole Your Parent’s Assets
Imagine your sibling moved in with your terminally ill father under the pretense of providing care and support. After your father passes, you discover that several valuable artworks are now missing. You suspect your sibling, taking advantage of your father’s compromised condition, took those items without permission.
Or imagine a scenario in which a sibling accessed your mother’s home following your mother’s death to remove expensive jewelry before ownership had been formally determined, and the estate had gone through probate.
In both situations, the sibling’s actions would likely constitute misappropriation of assets. Even if the sibling is a potential beneficiary, they cannot simply take property for themselves. Doing so not only constitutes theft but can also harm the other beneficiaries, who may be entitled to those items, or even creditors, who must generally be paid before assets are distributed and who may require certain assets to be sold to cover debts.
Put simply, when a sibling steals from a parent or family member — whether before or after their death — legal action is generally necessary. Theft by a sibling can affect your loved one’s financial and emotional wellbeing while they are alive and, if they have passed, can have a negative impact on your inheritance.
Potential Remedy:
In most cases, the remedy for a sibling who has misappropriated assets involves recovering the stolen property and, in some situations, seeking damages.
- If the parent is alive and has capacity: Only the parent can bring a claim to recover the assets.
- If the parent is incapacitated or deceased: A representative — such as an attorney-in-fact or conservator (for incapacity), or an executor or trustee (after death) — can pursue legal action to recover the assets.
2. A Sibling Manipulated a Parent into Changing Their Estate Plan
Imagine your sibling moved in with your elderly mother after your father’s passing, ostensibly to provide care and support. At first, they showered her with affection but gradually begin isolating her from other family members. Over time, your sibling convinced your mother that her other children do not care about her and pressured her to remove them as beneficiaries from her will. Eventually, your mother gives in, leaving almost the entire estate to your sibling living with her.
In this scenario, it seems likely your sibling exploited your elderly parent when she was emotionally vulnerable and isolated. They used excessive affection and deception to manipulate her into overriding her own wishes, causing her to disinherit her other children. This kind of conduct — undue influence — can fundamentally derail the decedent’s original intentions.
When a trust or will does not reflect the true final wishes of its creator due to manipulation, undue influence or fraud, it can serve as grounds for siblings contesting the trust or contesting the will.
Potential Remedy:
Any manipulation that causes a person to create, change or revoke a will or revoke a trust — whether through undue influence, duress, fraud or the strategic use of affection or isolation — can provide the legal grounds to dispute the will or trust. The evidence needed to contest a will or trust is substantial, so working closely with a probate attorney is important.
If a contest is successful, the affected assets often revert to an earlier version of the will or trust or, if no prior version exists, are distributed according to intestate succession laws. In most cases, as children of the decedent, you and your siblings would be entitled to a portion of the estate under these laws.
Additionally, if it can be proven that your sibling manipulated, unduly influenced or committed fraud against your parent to secure a larger inheritance, they may be disqualified from receiving the portion of the estate they wrongfully sought.
3. A Sibling is Refusing to Cooperate with Estate or Trust Administration
Imagine you are the executor of your parent’s estate and are preparing to sell a home that was left equally to you and your siblings. The will requires all beneficiaries to consent before the sale can proceed — but one sibling refuses to sign off.
In this scenario, one sibling’s refusal to cooperate stalls trust or estate administration and financially harms all beneficiaries. The vacant property continues racking up maintenance, insurance, tax and utility costs without generating income. If the market is strong, the delay may also cause the estate to miss an optimal sale window. The longer the property drains resources, the smaller the distribution for everyone — and since the home can’t realistically be divided or bought out, the sibling’s refusal serves no purpose other than hurting the rest.
A beneficiary’s failure to cooperate can derail administration in other ways, too. It may entail withholding a decedent’s will or trust, not signing off on probate, refusing to disclose assets, demanding baseless accountings, ignoring communication, skipping meetings meant to discuss estate matters, or refusing to participate in mediation or compromise. These behaviors can still significantly impede progress.
Importantly, a sibling is not required to “agree” with every decision during administration, especially if they have legitimate concerns. But many delays occur not because of valid objections, but because of personal grievances, unresolved family tensions or emotionally charged reactions to grief. When this happens, their refusal to cooperate can halt administration, deplete estate or trust funds and ultimately reduce everyone’s inheritance.
Potential Remedy:
Often, cooperation issues can be resolved informally through a direct conversation, a family meeting or a discussion facilitated by a neutral third party, such as a probate attorney or mediator.
If informal efforts fail, the executor or trustee can petition the probate court to compel cooperation. The court may order the sibling to provide documents, disclose assets, participate in mediation or stop obstructive behavior. In rare cases, if the sibling’s refusal has financially harmed the estate or trust, the court may impose a surcharge on that beneficiary’s share.
The court may also authorize the executor or trustee to proceed without the sibling’s consent, ensuring administration moves forward despite their obstruction.
4. A Sibling is Breaching Their Fiduciary Duties
Imagine a sibling is both a beneficiary and the trustee of your parent’s trust. Even though your parents intended for you and your siblings to receive equal shares of a property, your sibling arranges to sell the property to themselves for below market value — without informing the beneficiaries, seeking their consent or listing the home. As a result, the inheritance you and your siblings receive is significantly lower than it would have been had the sale been handled properly.
Now, imagine a sibling acting as your parent’s agent under a financial power of attorney. Although your parent signed the document while mentally competent, they have since declined and can no longer manage their own finances. As a result, your sibling has full control with minimal oversight. You have discovered unpaid bills, a landlord’s notice for delinquent rent and unauthorized withdrawals from your parent’s accounts. Your sibling is abusing the power of attorney, failing to meet their power of attorney obligations to your family member and causing financial harm that may ultimately reduce what remains in your parent’s estate or trust.
In both situations, your sibling is engaging in self-dealing and breaching their fiduciary duties. Whether the abuse involves failing to keep others informed, refusing to provide accountings, withholding distributions or using the role for personal gain, fiduciary misconduct must be addressed swiftly to prevent further damage.
Before a parent’s death, siblings usually breach fiduciary duties in their roles as an attorney-in-fact or conservator. After death, it typically occurs in their roles as executor or trustee.
Potential Remedy:
- If a sibling is abusing a power of attorney: Only the principal can revoke the power of attorney and bring a claim against the attorney-in-fact. Claims may seek asset recovery or compel disclosure of documents or information. If the principal is incapacitated, a concerned family member or friend can petition the court for revocation and damages. If the abuse is discovered after the principal’s death, the estate may file a claim.
- If a sibling is abusing a conservatorship: The conservatee, their spouse or registered domestic partner, relatives, friends or any “interested person” may petition to terminate the conservatorship (if it was unnecessary or wrongfully obtained) or replace the conservator (if the conservatorship is needed but the conservator is abusive). They may also seek recovery of wrongfully taken assets and damages. If the conservatee has died, their estate typically pursues the claim.
- If a sibling is abusing their role as executor or trustee: Beneficiaries may file a petition to recover assets, seek a surcharge to compensate the estate or trust for financial harm or request the sibling’s removal if their misconduct was serious or caused irreversible damage.
5. There is Confusion Around Which Siblings are Legally Entitled to Inherit
Imagine a father’s trust leaves his home to “his children in equal shares.” On the surface, this sounds clear, but complications arise because he died leaving both biological children and stepchildren behind. You and your siblings recall him stating he wanted the home to pass only to his biological children, while your stepsiblings argue they should inherit as well because he treated them as his children and likely intended to include them.
In this scenario, the trust language may be considered ambiguous. It doesn’t specify whether “children” includes stepchildren, making it unclear who is entitled to inherit. Although the executor or trustee initially makes decisions about how to proceed, ambiguous language typically triggers a legal process to determine the most accurate interpretation — a process in which affected siblings generally can participate.
Some ambiguities in a will or trust are simple to resolve (such as a misspelled name or the use of a nickname). Others are more complex and may require the court’s involvement.
Potential Remedy:
When ambiguous language affects inheritance rights, the executor or trustee — or sometimes a beneficiary — can file a petition for instructions asking the court to interpret the will or trust. The court will first examine the document itself. If the meaning can’t be determined from the text alone, it may consider outside evidence, including witness testimony.
Executors and trustees should avoid interpreting ambiguous terms on their own to prevent accusations of favoritism or breaches of fiduciary duty. If your inheritance is at risk, you can generally participate in the proceedings and offer any relevant external evidence supporting your position.
6. Siblings Cannot Agree on What To Do with Inherited Property
Imagine you are inheriting a house with siblings. One sibling wants to keep it for sentimental reasons, while the rest of you prefer to sell and receive the proceeds.
In this scenario, you generally must give the sibling who wants to keep the property the chance to buy out your shares at market value. But if they cannot afford a buyout and still refuse to consent to a sale, you and the other siblings can pursue legal action to force a sale. The law recognizes that co-owners cannot be required to keep property they no longer want.
Potential Remedy:
When a sibling will not consent to selling a jointly inherited property, a partition action can compel a sale. Because it is a drastic remedy, it is typically used only after other options fail.
Under California law, co-owners who want to sell must first give co-owners who want to keep the property an opportunity to buy them out. If that is not feasible, alternatives may include leasing the property or arranging a long-term buyout between the siblings. If no agreement can be reached, a partition action will ultimately force the sale.
Importantly, even a majority of co-owners wishing to keep the property have limited ability to stop a partition action beyond agreeing to sell or engaging in mediation. While partition actions can be contentious and may strain family relationships, they are often the quickest way to resolve a prolonged dispute over a jointly inherited property.
7. Informal Attempts to Resolve the Sibling Dispute Have Failed
Legal action against a sibling is typically a last resort, used only after all other attempts to resolve the dispute have failed. In most situations involving disagreements about a parent’s care or an inheritance, immediately turning to litigation is unwise because of the financial and emotional toll it can take.
A better starting point is direct communication. Sometimes a conversation or family meeting is enough to address the issue. If tensions are already high, working with a neutral mediator can provide structure, reduce conflict and create space for productive negotiation.
If these efforts do not lead to a resolution, legal action may become necessary. This usually involves filing a petition with the court outlining your claims and the remedies you’re seeking. A strong petition can encourage your sibling to compromise, often prompting settlement discussions or mediation.
If a settlement isn’t reached, the case may proceed through court and potentially to trial. Even then, mediation remains available and can save significant time, stress and expense.
Should the matter go to trial and you prevail, you may be able to recover your attorney’s fees and costs from your sibling — or, in some cases, from your parent’s assets (if they’re alive), or their estate or trust (if they’re deceased).
Tips for Resolving Siblings Disputes
If you’re facing a conflict with a sibling over an aging or incapacitated parent’s care, or over an inheritance, the guidance below can help reduce tension, encourage cooperation and support a smoother resolution.
Prioritize Transparency Around Information, Documents and Assets
Whether you are acting in a fiduciary role or you are a beneficiary or heir, withholding essential information or documents almost always backfires. A lack of transparency can fuel mistrust, hinder communication and ultimately harm everyone involved.
Fiduciaries — including attorneys-in-fact, conservators, trustees and executors — have a legal obligation to keep interested parties informed. But beneficiaries and heirs may also have responsibilities, particularly if they’re holding estate planning documents, personal records or assets belonging to a deceased parent.
Concealment may seem effective in the short term, but paper trails and financial records make discovery almost inevitable. If a sibling is caught hiding information or assets, they could face serious consequences, including court sanctions, financial penalties or even disinheritance in extreme cases.
Document Everything
Regardless of whether you intend to pursue legal action against siblings, thorough documentation is critical.
Keep records of:
- Emails, texts and letters between you and your siblings
- In-person conversations (note the date, time and a summary)
- Any accountings, financial documents or updates provided
- Any requests you’ve made that went unanswered
If litigation against a sibling becomes necessary, this paper trail can significantly strengthen your case.
When communicating with a sibling who holds a fiduciary role, email or written correspondence is best. For example, if you’ve repeatedly requested information from an executor — such as a summary of the estate’s debts — your documented attempts can help the court compel disclosure or even support a petition for their removal.
This level of organization may feel tedious, but in probate disputes, well-kept records often save substantial time, stress and money down the road.
Avoid Escalating the Conflict
When emotions run high between you and a sibling, continuing to communicate in the same ways often worsens the conflict. If discussions with your sibling have stopped being productive — or have turned hostile — persisting with direct, unstructured conversations may only deepen the divide.
Instead, if you’re still hoping to avoid formal legal action, consider communicating through a mediator. A mediator can keep discussions focused, reduce emotional volatility, and help you and your sibling explore reasonable compromises. Sometimes a third party can also propose solutions neither side considered, leading to quicker and more amicable resolutions.
Consult a Probate Attorney Early
Speaking with an experienced probate attorney at the first signs of conflict can prevent misunderstandings, reduce escalation and help you stay grounded in the legal reality of your situation.
A probate attorney can:
- Explain what each sibling is legally entitled to
- Assess whether a sibling may be engaging in misconduct
- Identify early warning signs of elder financial abuse or improper administration
- Recommend practical solutions tailored to your priorities
Some people want to minimize legal fees; others want to protect family harmony; some want the exact inheritance their parent intended, regardless of conflict. A skilled attorney can guide you toward the most efficient path while respecting your boundaries.
Importantly, involving an attorney early may allow you to avoid direct confrontation altogether. Having legal counsel serve as the primary communicator often keeps tensions low and increases the likelihood of a timely, cost-effective resolution.
Focus on Shared Goals
Sibling disputes can be emotionally charged, often fueled by long histories, unresolved conflicts or competing expectations. In these moments, it’s easy for personal grievances to overshadow the real issue.
Refocusing on shared objectives can make a significant difference. These may include:
- Protecting a vulnerable parent’s safety and finances
- Ensuring proper administration of a trust or estate
- Securing the inheritance you are entitled to
- Preserving long-term family relationships
Staying grounded in these shared goals — rather than in past hurts or power struggles — helps keep discussions productive. While an attorney can help maintain structure and civility, your willingness to cooperate and stay focused on the bigger picture is equally important.
Legal Action Against Siblings FAQs
Still confused about when legal action against siblings might be necessary? Explore the frequently asked questions below for additional guidance.
Do my siblings have any legal rights over our parent’s life?
It depends. Adult children — including your siblings — do not automatically gain legal authority over a parent’s life, even if the parent is elderly, incapacitated or struggling to make sound decisions. Authority must be formally granted through a power of attorney or conservatorship.
What happens if a sibling is abusing their role as legal guardian?
If one sibling has been appointed as the legal guardian of a minor child — often because the parents are unable or unavailable to care for them — they must act in the child’s best interests. If the guardian is neglecting their responsibilities or abusing their authority, any concerned relative can file a petition to remove and replace them.
How do you deal with a greedy sibling after a parent dies?
If a sibling is acting out of greed by hiding assets or manipulating the estate or trust administration process, it’s important to act quickly to protect your inheritance, which may include filing a petition to recover assets, hold them accountable or undo improper transfers.
Can you sue siblings for not taking care of parents?
You can take legal action if a sibling engages in physical or financial elder abuse or fails in a fiduciary role (such as attorney-in-fact or conservator), but simply refusing to provide hands-on care is usually not grounds for a lawsuit.
What if my sibling is living in an inherited house rent-free?
A sibling cannot typically occupy a jointly inherited home exclusively without your consent. Remedies may include requesting rent, asking them to leave or pursuing a partition action or eviction.
Can my brother sell property without my consent?
As a co-owner, you generally must be given the option to buy out your brother’s share before he moves forward with a sale of jointly owned property. If he is a trustee or executor, he may sell property with proper authority, but you may be able to challenge an improper sale.
Considering legal action against siblings?
Our probate attorneys have resolved complex disputes for countless sibling clients. We are equipped to help you resolve your sibling dispute, no matter how complex it is or at what stage you are in the conflict resolution process. We can advise you about what paths to pursue and whether legal action against siblings is needed.
Our probate attorneys are eager to learn more about your case so we can figure out how to best assist you. Call us today.
