Did you know that one of the most likely people to manipulate your elderly parent for financial gain is someone from your own family?
The possibility of acquiring easy money can tempt a person into mistreating, influencing, or otherwise manipulating elderly loved ones. The effects of this manipulation can be damaging to the victims and their finances, as well as to the family members they eventually will leave behind.
Learn the signs of a relative or sibling manipulating elderly parents, commonly used manipulation techniques, and how to resolve the issue from this article by Keystone Law.
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How Is Manipulation Used Within Families?
Identifying manipulation within a family setting can be complicated, because even affection can be a form of manipulation if it is used for the wrong reasons. Suppose that your elderly mother has always financially supported your adult sibling. If he were to pressure her into providing him with double or triple the amount of money she usually gives him, would it be considered manipulation? The answer would depend on your mother’s vulnerability, the relationship your sibling has with your mother, and more generally, on your family dynamics.
Siblings or other relatives may rely on their position within the family to manipulate an elderly parent into making financial gifts to them or changing their estate plan. By understanding the signs of elder financial abuse, you will be better equipped to take swift action if you detect it to prevent your parent from suffering further financial losses.
Common Forms of Manipulation
Manipulation within families can take many forms. Your sibling may suddenly show up in your elderly father’s life and shower him with love and affection to try to manipulate him into signing a deed conveying his home to her. She also could use negative emotions, such as guilt, resentment or anger, to get her way.
If subtle manipulation tactics aren’t working, your sibling could resort to more extreme measures, such as placing your elderly parent under duress (i.e., a form of manipulation involving serious threats), which has the potential to be financially and emotionally damaging to your parent.
No matter the type of manipulation used, the consequences can be devastating. Learn more about common forms of manipulation from the following sections.
Undue Influence
When extreme pressure is exerted on a vulnerable person to persuade them to abandon their own best interest in favor of the influencer’s, it’s considered undue influence. The end goal of undue influence usually is financial gain.
Undue influence in family settings may involve behaviors that don’t seem suspect. For example, a sibling could love bomb your parent with the intention of convincing them to so they can receive a larger portion of their estate under intestate succession.
Undue influence can also take the opposite form. For instance, a sibling could isolate an elderly parent from everyone they love to wield control over them and their finances. Ultimately, anytime a person is manipulated or unfairly pressured to take an action that’s not in their own best interest, it could be considered undue influence. could be considered undue influence.
Proving undue influence can be difficult, especially if it had been perpetrated within a family setting, so if you plan to take action to stop undue influence or reverse the damage caused by it, it is recommended you hire an experienced probate attorney to support you through the process.
Duress
Duress is a more extreme form of undue influence because it involves serious threats. While duress can be physical or financial in nature, we most often deal with cases of financial duress in probate law. While physical duress involves direct or indirect threats to the victim’s life, health or safety, financial duress involves threats to the victim’s financial assets. For example, a sibling who uses a power of attorney to gain access to your elderly parent’s bank account could threaten to drain the account unless your parent designates them as a bank account beneficiary.
If you suspect duress, it’s critical to act fast to prevent your parent’s finances or estate plan from being compromised. If the damage has already been done, a probate attorney potentially could help you either recover the assets your parent lost or dispute their will or trust.
Fraud
Fraud is an act of deception or misrepresentation, and it usually results in financial gains for the perpetrator. Suppose your sibling lies to your elderly parent about not having enough money to put food on the table or pay rent, which leads to your parent naming them as their sole trust beneficiary. This could be cause to contest the trust on the basis of fraud. Fraud can be difficult to prove; however, if it is successfully proven, the victim may be compensated with damages and possibly even punitive damages if the conduct was sufficiently egregious.
Common Consequences of Manipulation
If left unchecked, a manipulative sibling or relative can cause major problems within the family. It’s important to act fast if you see signs of a sibling manipulating elderly parents, because inaction could cause consequences to become more severe, or possibly even irreversible.
Explore common consequences of a relative or sibling manipulating elderly parents in the following sections.
Altered Estate Plans
A relative or sibling may use manipulation on an elderly parent to prompt their parent to alter their will or trust in their favor. Fraud and undue influence in wills and trusts is common, and both are valid reasons for contesting a will or trust. If you find out that an elderly parent has suddenly made changes to their will or trust, it may be a sign they’re being manipulated. Documenting everything that happens during this time could be useful in the event you need to contest the will or trust in the future. Remember to be mindful of deadlines for will and trust contests, as your claim may be time-barred if the deadline has elapsed.
Invalid Contracts
Contracts are treated as legitimate until it’s successfully proven they aren’t, so if you suspect that your sibling or another family member used manipulation to have a contract signed, changed or revoked, you can hire a lawyer to bring a lawsuit to try to either have the contract voided or restored to its previous version.
Contracts can involve anything from transfers of businesses and powers of attorney to signing over ownership of a vehicle or home.
If property was wrongfully taken with use of a contract that was procured through manipulation, you can try to recover the property, damages and possibly even punitive damages from your relative or sibling by bringing a property dispute.
Whether you can bring your claim while your parent is alive will depend on whether they are incapacitated. If they are, you could try to recover the property by becoming your parent’s conservator or using a power of attorney. Keep in mind that if you are using a power of attorney, it should have been signed by your parent at a time when they had capacity, or the document will be invalid.
Wrongful Gifts
Suppose that a relative applied constant pressure on your parent to convince your parent to gift them expensive artwork from their home. If your parent eventually succumbed to your relative’s pressure and gifted the requested artwork to them, you may be able to recover the gift by filing a petition with the court.
If you are successful in proving your claim, you not only may be able to recover the gift from your relative, but damages and possibly even double damages as well. Additionally, your relative may be disinherited from your parent’s estate or trust and be ordered to pay your attorney fees and costs.
Remember that you may have to wait until your parent has passed away to bring your claim if they are mentally competent. If your parent is mentally incompetent, you may be able to file a claim to recover the property as their attorney-in-fact or conservator.
Relative or Sibling Taking Advantage of Elderly Parents: Signs to Look For
The best way to stop a relative or sibling from using manipulation on your parent is to know the signs to look for. If you notice one or more signs from the following sections, you may want to consider consulting with a probate attorney, who can help you further investigate the matter, and if appropriate, take legal action. Find the most common red flags that could indicate manipulation by a family member below.
Your relative or sibling is isolating your parent from friends and family.
A quintessential sign a relative or sibling may be manipulating your parents is if they’re isolating them from family and friends. By isolating your parents, your family member may believe their manipulative ways won’t be discovered.
Isolation can take various forms. For example, the bad actor could move your parents to a location that’s easy for them to access but not other loved ones, or they could screen your parents’ phone calls.
In whatever way the isolation presents itself, it’s important to know that it could be a sign your elderly parents are being manipulated.
Your relative or sibling starts to speak for and control your parent.
If a family member suddenly begins to speak for your parents and control their life, it potentially could be a sign of manipulation.
For example, if you stop by your parents’ home to see how they’re doing, and instead of your parents answering your questions, your sibling answers on their behalf, barely giving them the opportunity to speak, it may be a sign that your sibling is trying to hide something.
Your relative or sibling is becoming more involved in your parent’s affairs.
If a family member had never been interested in your parents’ personal lives, financial affairs or estate plan, but has suddenly become very involved in them, it could be a sign that your parents are being manipulated in some way. For example, if your sibling had rarely ever visited with your parents, but out of nowhere has started to attend family gatherings at their home and ask them about their finances, they could have ulterior motives.
If your sibling is intervening in your parents’ affairs discreetly without communicating with the rest of the family, it is a cause for concern. To prevent harm to your parents’ finances or estate plan, it may be a good idea to play a more active role in your parents’ life.
Your parent’s behavior or mood is abnormal.
If your parents are being manipulated, there’s a possibility their behavior or mood could reflect that. For example, if your parents generally are elated when your sibling’s name is mentioned, but they have suddenly started to express resentment at the mention of your sibling’s name, it could indicate that your sibling is taking advantage of them. While a change in behavior or mood could indicate many things, it’s important not to dismiss it. This is especially true if the uncharacteristic behavior or mood is triggered by your sibling’s presence or the mention of your sibling’s name.
Your parent complains of missing assets and documents.
If a parent is missing important documents or assets, it could be a sign a family member manipulated your parents to gain access to their assets and important documents (e.g., by using a power of attorney) to either steal or tamper with them.
It’s common for a person to lose track of an item here or there, but if your elderly parents are mentally competent and are consistently losing track of items, it’s worth taking the time to investigate the matter.
How to Handle a Family Member Manipulating Elderly Parents
If you are convinced that a sibling or relative is manipulating your elderly parent, it’s crucial to act fast to either stop the manipulation or reverse the damage it caused.
The legal remedies that are available to you will depend on a variety of factors, such as whether your parent is alive or deceased, and on whether they have a power of attorney or conservator. Learn more about legal remedies for a relative or sibling manipulating elderly parents below.
Legal Remedies When Parents Are Alive
If you notice that a sibling or relative is manipulating your elderly parents, and your parents are still alive, there are actions you can take to put a stop to their manipulation. Consider the following options to decide which of them is most appropriate for your situation.
Parents Bring Dispute
Ideally, you’ll be able to show your parent that your family member is manipulating them for financial gain so they can take legal action themselves. However, keep in mind that for your parent to bring a claim, they will need to be mentally competent. Additionally, manipulation alone is not a reason for bringing a claim; the manipulation should have resulted in your parent’s assets having been wrongfully taken.
If the manipulation caused your parent to change their estate plan, they simply can revoke the affected documents or change them back to their previous form, but in order to make these changes, your parent must have capacity.
If the manipulation caused your parent to make changes to their trust, and your parent had lacked the capacity to make changes to their trust, it’s possible you’ll be able to contest the trust while they are still alive because of recent changes to Probate Code section 15800.While your parent may be resistant to taking legal action against a relative or sibling, it may be necessary for them to do to regain control of their finances. For example, when one of our clients lost control of her most valuable income-producing asset as a result of her son’s manipulation, she had no choice but to hire us to bring a claim to regain control of this asset, since it had been providing her with the income she needed to survive.
Power of Attorney
A power of attorney is a legal instrument that grants an attorney-in-fact control over the financial or medical affairs of a principal (i.e., the person who signed the document). Attorneys-in-fact have fiduciary responsibilities, which means that they are obligated to act in the best interest of the principal when making decisions on their behalf. Infringing on these responsibilities could make the attorney-in-fact liable for fiduciary misconduct.
Your parent may have a power of attorney in place that enables an attorney-in-fact to act on their behalf in financial and legal matters. If this is the case, their attorney-in-fact could help protect them against manipulation by monitoring their finances. Since an attorney-in-fact generally can also litigate on behalf of the principal, they may be able to take legal action to recover any assets your parent lost as a result of manipulation.
If your parent had not previously signed a power of attorney, and they are still mentally competent, they have the ability to name you or another trustworthy adult as their attorney-in-fact. As your parent’s attorney-in-fact, you will be better suited to protect their finances and estate plan from being harmed by a manipulative sibling or relative. It’s important to note that a power of attorney can also be used for the wrong reasons. As an example, a manipulative sibling could convince your parent to sign a power of attorney that names them as the attorney-in-fact to steal from your parent’s financial accounts, which would be considered power of attorney abuse.
If you are aware that your relative or sibling is abusing their power of attorney, and your parent is incapacitated, you may be able to have the document revoked by the court, but if it is successfully revoked, a conservatorship may have to be obtained to protect your parent and their finances.
On the other hand, if a relative or sibling is abusing their power of attorney and your parent has capacity, your parent can simply revoke the power of attorney on their own.
Conservatorship
A is an option that provides even more oversight than a power of attorney. In a conservatorship, someone known as a conservator is appointed to manage the personal or financial affairs of the conservatee (i.e., the conserved person). To establish a conservatorship over someone, that person must be incapacitated. Documentation from their physicians usually will be required to prove this to the court.
If you’re planning to obtain a conservatorship over your parent, it’s important to be prepared for what a conservatorship entails. While it would enable you to protect your parent from manipulative family members, you’d also owe fiduciary responsibilities to your parent. For example, if you’re their conservator of the estate, you’d be responsible for making their rent or mortgage payments, paying their bills, managing their financial accounts, and possibly even investing their money, among other things.
Unlike powers of attorney, conservatorships are monitored by the court, and they’re the most restrictive option for protecting your parent and their assets. Therefore, if your parent is still mentally competent, it may be worth reviewing less restrictive alternatives to conservatorships with them to prevent them from involuntarily being placed under a conservatorship in the future.
Legal Remedies When Parents Are Deceased
Unfortunately, a family member’s manipulation of an elderly parent may not be discovered until after the parent has died, and estate or trust administration is taking place. When a parent’s will is probated, for example, it may reveal suspicious changes, which could suggest that your parent had been manipulated into amending the document.
Luckily, an experienced probate attorney can help you take legal action to invalidate a will or trust, or to recoup lost assets after your parent has passed away. Review the following sections to learn legal remedies for undoing the damage caused by a family member’s manipulation of your parent after their death.
Will or Trust Contest
Probate attorneys are experts at litigating disputes over wills and trusts. If the contents of your deceased parent’s will or trust suggest that they were manipulated by a family member, you can hire an attorney to challenge the document.
To bring a will or trust contest, the will or trust at issue must meet one or more of the grounds for contesting a will or trust, and you generally will be responsible for proving this to the court with evidence. For example, if you are trying to have your parent’s trust invalidated because your estranged sibling emerged toward the end of your parent’s life to manipulate your parent into leaving them the majority of trust assets, you could have other family members provide testimony surrounding your sibling’s strained relationship with your parent.
Evidence that could help your case may include witness accounts, medical records showing your parent’s declining mental capacity, a timeline detailing events around the time they altered their will or trust, and the will or trust itself, along with any previous versions of the document.
Invalidation of Contract
A manipulative relative or sibling can cause a lot of damage by influencing a parent to change a contract. For example, a parent with a business may be manipulated into signing over a larger portion of their business to your sibling than they initially intended, which potentially could give your sibling a dangerous amount of control over it.
If your deceased parent was manipulated into signing or changing a contract, it will remain in effect until you can prove that it was obtained through or changed as a result of manipulation in court.
For example, if your sibling coerced your parent into signing a deed conveying their home to them, then you can try to contest the deed transfer in court by proving with evidence that the deed was unlawfully obtained.
The right attorney can help you accumulate useful evidence to prove your case. If you’re able to prove that the contract was signed because of undue influence, duress or fraud, it’s likely the court will void the contract.
Recovery of Wrongfully Taken Property
If you, the executor/administrator of your parent’s estate, or trustee of their trust discovers that assets your parent had included in their will or trust are missing, it could be because they were stolen from your parent, or because your parent had been manipulated into gifting them to someone. A remedy that could be useful when trying to recover property for an estate or trust is an . This type of petition allows for property to be transferred into or out of an estate or trust without the property having to pass through a formal probate, which can take time. Keep in mind that the decision of whether an 850 Petition can be used in a particular matter will be up to the court.
In cases concerning the recovery of wrongfully taken property, the burden of proof generally will rest with the person bringing the claim. If you are the claimant, you’ll have to gather as much evidence as possible for a chance at a favorable outcome. This is something your attorney can help you do.
Damages
In addition to recovering property that was stolen from your elderly parent, the court may order your family member to pay damages and possibly even double damages for their manipulation. These damages will usually be paid to your parent’s estate or trust. Your family member also could be disinherited and ordered to pay your attorney fees and costs.
If your family member is ordered to pay damages, it’s possible they will come out of their share of the will or trust (if they were named as beneficiaries). Depending on the situation, they may even be held personally liable for paying damages.
What Are Some Examples of Undue Influence in Families?
By reviewing examples of undue influence and other forms of manipulation within families, you will be better equipped to detect it. Consider the following examples of undue influence in families to learn what you might do in each situation.
Estranged Sibling Taking Sudden Interest in Elderly Father
Suppose that your sibling had been estranged from your father for decades, but upon learning that your father has a terminal illness, she moves into his home under the guise of caring for him.
Once your father is under your sibling’s care, your sibling slowly starts to take control of his life. She limits your interactions with him and forces him to sign a power of attorney to grant her the authority to make decisions on his behalf.
Once he dies, it comes to light that his bank accounts, which previously had been well-funded, are now empty. Additionally, his will names your sibling as the primary beneficiary of his estate. The prior version of his will had expressly disinherited her.
It is clear to you that your sibling manipulated your father in more ways than one. It is possible that she manipulated him into signing a power of attorney, and then abused the power of attorney to drain his bank accounts. She also could have pressured him to change his will, because he had expressed to you countless times that he intended for you to receive the majority of his assets.
In this scenario, a probate attorney could help you try to not only recover the assets that were lost as a result of your sibling’s manipulation, but also to invalidate your father’s will. Your attorney could also try to help you recover damages and possibly even punitive damages from your sibling, as well as your attorney fees and costs.
Family Member Stealing Money From Elderly Mother
Suppose that you have an elderly mother whose mental capacity is starting to decline. As a result of her declining capacity, she often forgets what items she owns, and what items she’s given away. It is well-known within your family that your mother’s mental competence is declining, so her brother volunteers to take on the responsibility of checking in on her regularly.
Months later, when you visit your mother, you notice valuable family heirlooms to be missing from her home. You also find out that she signed over her vehicle to her brother at his urging. You are baffled because you believed her brother had always had her best interests at heart.
In this scenario, a probate attorney could help you obtain a conservatorship over your mother to protect her against further harm. If the conservatorship is granted, you can file petitions on her behalf to recover the stolen family heirlooms from her brother and have the deed transferring her vehicle voided.
Brother Bullying Elderly Mother Into Transferring Home
Suppose that you have a brother who has always struggled financially. He believes all his problems would be solved if he could own your mother’s home, but she has expressed to him on numerous occasions that she doesn’t think it would be fair to her other children if she left the home exclusively to him.
Unhappy with this response, your brother resorts to more extreme measures to get his way. He threatens to destroy the home and expose family secrets unless your mother agrees to sign a deed transferring her home to him in that moment. Succumbing to the pressure, your mother does what he says and signs a deed. Soon after, she dies.
While you and your siblings were surprised by your mother gifting her home to your brother, you assumed she had her reasons. However, when her will was read, and it came to light that she had intended to leave equal shares of her home to all her children, you start to believe your brother used manipulation to become the sole owner of the home.
In this scenario, a probate attorney could help you prove that your mother gifted the home to your brother as a result of his placing her under duress to try to have the deed invalidated. If your claim is successful, the home likely would be distributed in accordance with the terms of your mother’s will, although your brother may be disqualified from receiving any portion of it. He may also be liable for paying damages, punitive damages and your attorney fees and costs.
How to Stop an Elderly Parent From Giving Money Away
It’s an unfortunate reality that many elderly parents fail to understand or accept that their family member is manipulating them. Luckily, there are steps you can take to protect your parents even if they can’t grasp the reality of the situation. You can review these steps in the sections below.
Speak to your parents about their estate plan and final intentions.
It is a good idea to set a time to discuss with your parents their final intentions. This way, you will be able to immediately notice if the terms of their will or trust don’t align with the intentions they discussed with you, and you can take action to try to have the document invalidated.
You may wish to record your discussion with your parents in the event you need to present evidence to the court.
Use a power of attorney or conservatorship to protect your parents.
The most reliable way to ensure that no one manipulates your parents is to take charge of their finances by becoming their attorney-in-fact or conservator.
If you have been granted over your parents, your authority usually can be used to manage and monitor their finances.
As we previously mentioned, a power of attorney will not be considered valid unless the principal was mentally competent when they signed it. Therefore, if your parents lack capacity, it would be better to try to obtain a conservatorship over them.
Play an active role in your parents’ lives.
When you’re around your parents often, it’s easier to notice if something is amiss. From odd visitors to missing documents, you’re more likely to be aware of anything out of the ordinary when you’re making it a point to be involved in your parents’ lives.
Contact Keystone to learn how our experienced attorneys can help.
If you suspect that your sibling or another family member may be manipulating an elderly parent, it’s crucial you act fast to stop the manipulation or reverse the damage caused by it. By gathering evidence and consulting with our firm as soon as possible, you’ll be able to protect your elderly parent against further harm. Our attorneys can help even if your parent has passed away, and you are looking to undo the damage caused by your sibling’s manipulation.
The attorneys at Keystone focus exclusively on trust and estate administration and litigation. They frequently help beneficiaries and heirs who feel they’ve been scammed out of their rightful inheritances.
To discuss the specifics of your situation, contact Keystone today to request a free consultation. We look forward to speaking with you.
